You learn something new everyday...

I realise that I've not updated for ages and to my followers I apologise.

Wait, what's that? 

I have no followers other than my two flatmates?

Awkward...

Anyhoo, guess what I learned to do?! 

Yep, you guessed it, I learnt to look like a psychopath use the timer setting on my camera; meaning that now I am no longer limited to photographing myself in the mirror and looking like a chavvy idiot. Unless of course chavvy idiot happens to be all the rage in which case words must be eaten and Burberry knock-off's bought. Daniella Westbrook eat your heart out.

Back to the point... (I joke. This is a fashion blog and therefore without a point) In honour of my technical skills advancing from retard to mild retard I decided to photograph two new dresses that I got in the sales. The first dress being £25.00 from Miss Selfridge and kind of the dress version of a mullet... A pleasant description if ever there was one. Look:

Unfortunately at this stage in the outfit documenting the whole concept of a timer was unknown to me and so a chavvy photo was born. Anyhoo as you can see this dress is longer at the back that the front. Cool, no? It also came with a cute brown plaited belt that nips me in nicely at the waist; I'm all about the defined waist. 

Plus I'm a sucker for anything floral. 

'Oh, but Helen wherever did you wear this marvellous dress?' I hear you cry...Well it's funny that you should ask that as I actually wore it to the Manchester Mela. For those of you unfamiliar with what a Mela is, its an Asian festival which has lots of yummy food. Translation: I stuffed my face. 

The other dress that I got was from my beloved Zara; if I could marry a shop this would be it- just think how stylish yet weirdly conceived  our babies would be! And at a mere £15.99 this dress is an absolute bargain!

Retro dance moves are a speciality of mine.

Ideally I'd have the dresses waist on my actual waist so that I look less bulky but I just couldn't resist the easiness of this dress. Its ridiculously easy to throw on and go, so much so that I've practically lived in it these past few days. It's perfect for the days when you just don't know what to wear. I've even gone back to Zara and purchased an almost identical dress (still in the sale mind you) as I love it that much.

Oh, and did I mention that the pattern looks like bacteria reproducing? Man, I'm cool.

All in all I'm very pleased with these two dresses. In fact in celebration I think I'll give you a little treat, known as... drum roll please... PHOTO OUT-TAKES!!!

Enjoy...

I apologise on behalf of my eyebrows... And facial expressions in general...

Sorry. I couldn't help it. Honest.

How do I crave thee?

How do I crave thee? Let me count the ways.

Warehouse Festival Floral Wrap Back Top: £25.00

I crave thee completely with all my might

ASOS Ames Suede Ankle Boots: £35.00

My soul can reach, when money is tight

Oasis Asymmetric Frill Tunic: £35.00

For being a student is my budget and my face.

Me & Zena 'I See You' Hexagon Eye Ring: £21.00

I crave thee to the level of complete craze-

Warehouse Butterfly Printed Blouse: £45.00

Obsession by sun and bedside light.

Oasis Fleur Embroidered 60s Dress: £60.00

I crave thee madly, as dreams in flight,

Topshop Green Maxi Skirt: £40.00

I crave thee deeply, in an addicts haze

ASOS Rose Gold Effect Retro Style Oversized Watch: £20.00

I crave thee with a passion free to use

Warehouse Charm Print Blouse: £45.00

In my old clothes, and with my longing faith.

ASOS Shimmy Pointed Court Shoes: £35.00

I crave thee with a crave I can’t abuse

Me & Zena Bright Eyes Rabbit Ring: £25.00

With the lost trends --- I crave thee with the breath,

Warehouse Plisse Maxi Skirt:£35.00

Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and if money choose

French Connection Scott Strip Top: £32.00

I shall but turn crave to love until death.

Marks and Spencer: Has it lost the spark?

Have you heard the news? Myleene Klass, Ana Beatriz Barros (a Victoria's Secret model), VV Brown and Dannii Minogue have all been dropped by M&S. This has been met with cheers of approval from the apparently ‘forgotten’ over sixties. Their belief is that Marks and Spencer’s has been ignoring the older market in favour of attracting a younger one through celebrity endorsement; a younger generation who apparently don’t even shop at Marks and Spencer. What rubbish.

I hate it when older people get like this; as if they are somehow done wrong by the inclusion of ‘youth’. It makes me want to age 41 years just so I can prove them wrong: ‘Hey look at me! I’m sixty and I appreciate that I’m not the only consumer of M&S!’ After all what are they expecting? For Marks and Sparks to morph into another Edinburgh Woollen Mill- A store where unless being a dutiful granddaughter the youngest person in there is sixty?

At this point I’m probably sounding like the ungrateful teenagers that these over sixties read about in the daily mail, but just to clear the air, no I don’t have an asbo or cause you cancer. In fact the only danger that I pose to the over sixties generation is that I appear to be the exception to their theory that the younger generation- that’s me- do not shop at Marks and Spencer’s because, well, I actually do. And its not just me. I have friends who also shop there (we all have a particular love for the Limited Collection shoe range) and not to mention my mum who is in her forties. Notice something? None of us are sixty. I can’t help feel that the argument of the over sixties is slightly ageist. Surely they should be thankful that instead of this ‘younger generation’ dressing like they should be working the streets, we are choosing to buy respectable clothing from a respectable British Institution?

I therefore decided to have a browse through the Marks and Spencer’s website and see if I could prove the media (Daily Mail I’m looking at you…) and the over sixties wrong. 

Obviously as only a 19 year old I'm not completely aware with all the issues that over sixties are faced with when dressing. All I know is that knitted tunic tops are stylishly unfussy and simple to wear with jean or smart trousers without feeling like mutton dressed as lamb. Similarly a classic trench-coat is great for going out and about without resorting to a frumpy regatta waterproof. The dresses meanwhile provide knee coverage and are not too low cut. 

I think its timeless pieces like this that can be quite easily adapted across varied generations that Marks and Spencer's does well and should therefore not be so easily found guilty of neglecting the over sixties as in my opinion it would seem that the over sixties have been neglecting Marks and Spencer's through their failure to be open minded. If they want to shop in a purely over sixties catering retail environment then I'd be quite happy to take them on a trip to the Edinburgh Woollen Mill. In exchange for some shortbread of course.

Rated PG.

I’ve decided that I don't have quite enough angst to be a serious blogging/fashion influence. I mean I’ve just been flicking through blogs and they all seem so gritty; essentially sex, drugs and rock and roll. I just don’t have it in me to be like that. I grew up on Disney films and took them at face value, fairy tales and nothing more (sexual connotations? Why?!). Obviously this means that instead of finding a twisted interest in disturbing topics (oh woe is me, slit wrists etc…) I have no idea what these topics are on about and prefer to censor them rather  than find out. 

Yes, that’s right, I mentally censor things that aren’t pg suitable. I’m a walking corporation; a walking corporation here to share the 'not sexual in anyway' love … 

His right arm is in no way doing anything remotely un-pg, ok?

The reading means that she is a good role model for women everywhere.

Totally not an unrealistic representation of men.

That's going to stain...

Ariel: she'll help Cinderella get rid of that difficult stain.

Ps.
I have all the songs too. Combined with my mainstream music taste (if it weren't for Rhianna S&M would have never got through my censorship barriers) I think you'll find that this makes me one very happily naive girl.

Meet my pleats

I've decided that blogging would be a lot easier to stick to if there was a day of the week beginning with the letter  ‘b’ that way I could have ‘blogging Buesday ‘ or ‘blogging Briday’. This way I could stick to my blogging as easily as I stuck to my college’s curly fries Friday all thanks to alliteration. As it is however the days of the week are somewhat ‘b’-less placing me in an unfortunate situation whereby I cannot amuse my childish ways with a delightful literary device. It’s a hard life, is it not?

Anyway back to fashion and the biggest news of the year (so far at least): I have a pleated skirt! Hallelujah!

Given how long I’ve gone on about wanting one of these skirts it was about blooming time. ‘Blooming’ being seemingly appropriate given the lush green of my skirt, all its really missing is a spattering of fresh flowers and I’d be a walking meadow. I decided though that for my skirts first outing (a walk to the highly fashionable B&Q, naturally) I’d go for a simpler look by keeping the colours simple with a black body and my go-with-everything Topshop yellow sandals; after all the delicate pleats of the skirt speak for themselves.

However I couldn't help but plant florals alongside this pleated skirt the next time I wore it and so came up with this colourful ensemble…

The ‘top’ is actually an H&M dress that I got a while back and immediately puts me in a summery mood given the tropical print that wouldn’t look out of place on a garish Hawaiian souvenir shirt. This outfit was ultimately my attempt at utilising my wardrobe better, the dress as a top being something I hadn’t really tried before and solving the problem I had with the ridiculously short underskirt that the skirt has (I’m pretty sure the first time I wore the skirt I flashed to the majority of B&Q’s customers as a result of this…). I also secretly wanted to steal the style of Josephine De La Baume from when she wore Jonathon Saunders. She looked so fresh and feminine that who wouldn't want to? She is certainly someone that knows how to dress her curves.

I feel that at this point having covered the ‘fashion’ aspects of this post that I should probably apologise profusely for my outfit pictures where I resorted to the shameful camera-mirror combination. I am well aware that this is the lowest of lows and should therefore be only done by chavvy, pouty, underwear clad teenage girls but desperate times called for desperate measures. How else was I meant to show off my pleated skirt?

Not so plain Jane afterall

So recently I’ve been very lazy on the blogging front and to my two- totally not my flatmates- followers I profusely apologise. Grovel, grovel etc. Anyway I thought it was about time that I delivered some shocking news to the fashion industry: Jane Norman has upped its fashion game and is consequently, dare I say it, fashionable? ‘What?’ I here you cry from your perfectly lip glossed lips, ‘how can Jane Norman ever be fashionable?’ and I admit that before today my lips would have been crying exactly the same thing. However during my brief inspection of the current Jane Norman stock it would appear that the once glorified market stall is starting to finally be competition on the high street. Topshop look out.

For starters Jane Norman is certainly tickling my tastebuds with their bang on trend pleated skirt which is available in coral and pink. Note to self: speak to doctor about this obsession.

Pink- £36.00

Coral- £36.00

They are also really on the ball with colour blocking, with the prada-esque stripes that they’ve mixed in managing to look chic rather than cheap-  Jane Norman’s usual design style.

Pleated skirt skater dress- £38.00

Cape detail blouse- £34.00

High waisted striped belted skirt- £28.00

Floral prints also seem to be working well with Jane Norman providing a bevy of floral garments that would be perfect for brightening up our rainy summer that we appear to be having; I mean would it kill you mother nature to follow season stereotype? Summer, as the name implies, is meant to be sunny!

Floral print playsuit- £40.00

Floral print shirt dress- £45.00

Floral print shorts- £28.00

However it would seem that Jane Norman can’t quite let go of its trashy fashion reputation as there are still multiple skeletons lurking in its closet. These garments in particular would certainly be more at home with flat cap Dave on his weekly market stall- ‘Ere luv fancy a bargain?’.

Embroidered bust bandeau dress- £55.00

Studded one shoulder top- now £21.00

At least we’ll know what the gypsy wedding cast will be wearing if they do another season.  I just hope that for Jane Norman’s sake that they move away from the likes of these garments to focus on the garments that are actually worthy of a place on the high street. After all there’s serious fashion potential here, don’t you think?

The Shelf

So today I was just playing with my camera and decided to be ‘artistic’, the overall result being the contents of one of my shelves; mainly glittery, shiny, colourful stuff, demonstrating my overall magpie-ness. Conclusion: I like pretty things...  

The observant amongst you will have noticed that these are nail varnishes and a fair few at that. To be honest the reason I have so many is in a feeble attempt to combat my nail biting habit and if this entails covering my nails in a gorgeous coral-orange colour a la Dior spring/summer 2011 then I'm quite happy to do so. Here I feel that I should also mention that this coral-orange colour also really works well with a tan but seeing as I'm paler than Edward Cullen this is not a tried and tested opinion.

I also like Disney. As a nineteen year old girl who is scarily edging closer to the big two zero each day what's cooler than that?

For some reason if I pile all of these bracelets on my hand like this I look completely ridiculous and too try hard, maybe its my arms? The combination of my gazillion freckles with gazillion beads was never going to be a good look really; it would be a complete circle overload, quite frankly sending me dotty.

This final picture is, simply put, random.I do however rather like it. I like the sunniness of the overall picture and the fact that ultimately every item in this photograph is what most people would throw away: Old train tickets (the majority of which are just to Bolton rather than anywhere 'exotic'), a bell from my cow costume, McDonald's monopoly, a lonesome bobble and safety pins- safety pins being a wardrobe essential. And on that bombshell (I realise it's nothing like a bombshell but I just wanted a Top Gear moment...) this is all I have to say on this particular shelf in my room. Feeling sad at this thought? Don't despair! I have many more shelves to talk about, I know you're all barely containing the anticipation!