How to ooze coolness for the uncool

I really want a pair of clumpy heeled shoes; the kind of shoes that you can wear with anything and you’ll be given instant fashion credentials. And I do so badly want those shiny fashion credentials… *drool*

ASOS suede ankle boots £70

Topshop black suede slingback platform sandals £65

ASOS suede cross strap high sandal £55

In my head these shoes will automatically place me in a prime fashion position. Indeed in my head these shoes will undoubtedly help me take over the world in a completely vain and superficial way. After all how could anyone not fall in love with me if I was to wear a pair of these shoes? They just ooze coolness. Coolness that, if I buy a pair of these shoes, could ooze into my very being! People would then comment on how I ooze coolness! They’d say “Look at her, she oozes coolness”! I could just be one big ball of oozing coolness! Or at least I would have been if that little thought rant had not just been made public… it’s scary how uncool I can make myself. These shoes however would rectify that. I could say ‘ooze’ to my heart’s content in these shoes. That would be the life.

Pleat-a-holics anonymous

Hi I’m Helen and I’m a pleat-a-holic. Yes, that’s right, this seasons pleated skirt has become somewhat of an obsession of mine. Infact if stalking was at all possible with an item of clothing I’d be there amidst the coat hangers with my binoculars in an effort to maximise my pleat viewing; a camera wouldn’t go a miss either.

I suppose the first time I realised my condition was when I first laid eyes on the Carrie skirt by Whistles. The neon pink and glorious pleats truly being a match made in heaven. Of course being a student this means paying up to £110 for a skirt is out of the question, not to mention the fact that the Carrie flew off the shelves almost as fast as I fell in love with it. However this has now meant that a bevy of more affordable (student loan friendly) high street stores have unleashed the pleats. Hallelujah!

Carrie skirt by Whistles £110

Unfortunately I have yet to find one in quite the dazzling shade of highlighter pink of the Carrie however I am quite taken with the idea of poppy red as my wardrobes colour spectrum is rather lacking in red. Emerald green is also a favourite too. And although neutral colours are just as adorable given their ballerina connotations, I’m just not sure that my pale legs will be able to carry them off.

Warehouse pleat maxi skirt £60

Mango skirt flora £19.90

ASOS pleated maxi skirt £45

Even more embarrassing though than my school girl crush on pleats is the fact that I’m not yet the proud owner of a pleated skirt. A sad admittance for one so armoured with pleats, looks like I’m off shopping. And soon at that before other people become infected with pleat mania and the Carrie skirt isn’t the only pleated creation to sell out.

Dick Whittington Never Came to Bolton

Bolton Town Hall- base for Fashion Week?

When you think of fashion certain places come to mind: London; Paris; New York; Milan… Fashion localised to capital cities and why not? 


Capital cities are notorious for being sold to us as the ‘it’ places. Dick Whittington of Puss in Boots fame went to London for streets paved with gold and to be honest, despite the fairytale status, Whittington has merely led the way for multitudes of people who head to capital cities in the quest for fame and fortune. Capital cities are the places where the term zeitgeist holds the most relevance; ergo fashion clings to them with all the might of a limpet to a rock. But what if fashion wasn’t localised? What if fashion was spread out across the country? What if London Fashion Week wasn't London Fashion Week at all but Bolton Fashion Week? 


Yes I went there. 


Why can’t a Northern town known for garlic bread jokes be known across the world by the fashion industry? Admittedly it is nowhere near as glamorous as London but I’m merely using Bolton as an example of the places across the United Kingdom that appear to have been neglected by the fashion pack. After all when was the last time you ever saw a gathering of the fashion elite in your home town?